Travails with the USPS bleeds into amazon territory

The postmaster of my tiny post office called and left a message at my mother's house yesterday. I'm not really sure how he knew to call my mother's house since the post office is in another county, but it's a small world down here so I don't question things much. The postmaster dude, like Josephine, seemed interested in what my package looked like and wanted to know if I'd contacted amazon about the situation. Well, no, honestly I had not been thoughtful enough to contact amazon as it seems the US Post Office has their hands on my box. But I emailed amazon in the vague hopes they could work out some sort of hostage negotiations for my stuff before next Christmas. Here is the email I sent to Amazon. I am awaiting a reply.:

I ordered these items and they were supposed to be delivered 12/18/2008. I called both amazon.com and the USPS and could not get a definitive answer on where my box was at that time, just that it had been shipped.

I allowed for the holiday mail issues and resigned myself to the idea I probably would not get the tinker toys before Christmas. On 1/18/08, I learned my package was being sent to a recovery center in Atlanta. Discovering this lead on my missing amazon box, I emailed the USPS. Josephine the USPS Lady was very kind and sent me a questionnaire to complete. I described what I thought my package may look like, where it came from (well, sort of. I don't know amazon.com's mailing address - it's all very magical and internety to me) and when the package was mailed.

Well, my postmaster general dude called and left me a message yesterday and wanted to know what the box looked like. You would have thought Josephine might have relayed this information to him when they discovered my box on the loose. But you know what old people say about mights – they grow on a chickens butt. Anyway, he also wanted to know if I'd followed up with Amazon.com to see if you people know where my box of tinker toys and sundry notions has gotten off to.

Seeing that the USPS tracking site told me it was off in a recovery center somewhere recovering from only Lord knows what, I don't know what you all can do for me. But if you can find my box or call my postmaster general dude and let him know what my box looks like or give them a tracking number or whatever, I'd be mighty obliged. I don't know what good the tracking number is going to do, I've e-mailed that all over the place and haven't gotten anywhere with it. A hound dog showed up at my house yesterday, though. I’m thinking about driving him up to Atlanta this weekend and seeing if he can’t sniff out my tinker toys.

Travails with the USPS

I ordered a few Christmas toys and books from amazon.com on 12/12/07. Ordering so late in the holiday season was a thoroughly bad idea and I willingly admit it was not a wise move. I also was okay with the idea that I could possibly not recieve my order before Christmas. However, I was sure they'd be in within a week or so after Christmas. My tinker toys never materialized and I've set off on an email mission to locate them. Here is the beginning of my search and subsequent responses. They are long and rambling because I am a long, rambling sort of woman. I'm not sure anyone else is actually reading them so I'll stick them here for you to not read.

(with typos thoughtfully righted for you . . .somewhat)

tracking number: (must remain confidential lest you all try to claim my tinker toys)

This package was picked up from an amazon warehouse on 12/13/07. It was due to me on 12/18. When I could not find any information about my package through the USPS tracking site, I called customer service. I was informed since I am too cheap to pay for extra shipping, no one really could tell me where my amazon box was or when it would be in my grubby little hands. Just that it was out there somewhere.

However, I would like to commend the USPS customer service number. Like most customer service lines, the CSR was completely incapable of answering my question and I was foisted off like so much Family Dollar Christmas tinsel. However, the representative did have an American accent and it didn't take us 30 minutes for her to impart her lack of information to me. While I do not consider myself a xenophobe, I do appreciate that the USPS has not taken to outsourcing customer service calls to Bangladesh.

On a whim and with wistful hopes, I checked checked the USPS tracking site today - a month after my box of Christmas dreams were due to me. Lo and behold! It's a bleak January miracle! My package was sent to the Atlanta Mail Recovery center on 12/19/07 at 10:48AM.

Now, I don't know what sort of pain and humility my box has been through. Maybe it was taken hostage by some of those crazy people who are boycotting the use of the word Holidays. Weirder things have happened. However, I consider it a very valid explanation for these reasons:

1. I've had the same mailing address for the last 9 years.
2. Amazon has successfully mailed packages to this address for the past five years.
3. My mail lady knows where I live, yet she never brought me my package or left me a note telling me I had a package waiting to be delivered. Certainly, had my mail lady ever actually seen my package she would have made sure I got since she always brings me my bills.
4. Those "Happy Holidays is against God!" people are a little whacky and scary. Maybe they were stealing packages all over the place and trying to send them to the Island of Misfit Toys.

Provided you, dear reader, are still paying attention to this missive I applaud you for your interest in delivering top notch customer service to the agitated. I'll end with this:

I'd really like my damned mail. Do you think you could have one of those people up there in Atlanta dig my box out and send it to me in the next week? Fairly now, the shipping has been paid and it is a little more than rude to randomly sit on a customer's package.

Really, the sooner the better. I was very excited about the Tinker Toys.

Thank you,
kooolaidred

The USPS Response

Dear KOOOLAIDRED

Thank you for contacting us about item number, 9102001206932595118718.

According to our records, your item could not be delivered or returned to the sender. It is being forwarded to a USPS mail recovery center where it will be processed.

I apologize that we do not have any additional information regarding the status of your item. Complete tracking information is only available for Express Mail® items. Services that confirm delivery are designed to be a low cost alternative to full tracking. Electronic Delivery Confirmation™ may, but is not required to, provide the date and time when it was picked up or accepted for shipment.

I will document this issue. However, I need some additional information so this can be sent to the correct office and you can be contacted:

- Full name of the sender
- Address of the sender
- Type of mail (letter, large envelope, package, large package, or unknown)
- Class of mail (Express Mail®, First Class Mail®, international, military, Periodicals, Priority Mail®, Bulk Mail, Parcel Post®, Media Mail®, or none)
- Services added (Certified Mail™, Registered Mail™, Return Receipt, Merchandise, Insured, C.O.D., Signature Confirmation™, or Delivery Confirmation™)
- Location the mail item was sent from (sender’s residence, other residence / business, Post Office™ ZIP Code™, Collection Box®, or unknown)
- Time and date the mail item was sent
- Whether you would like to receive a call regarding this issue (There is no guarantee that further information can be provided via email.)
- If you suspect foul play:
- Do you know who was involved?
- Do you know the name(s) of whom you suspect?
- Was it a Postal employee?
- Do you have a description?

If I can be of assistance to you in the future, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Thank you for choosing the United States Postal Service®.

Regards,
Josephine

I was so happy at Josephine's quick response, I immediately filled out their questionnaire:


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Full name of the sender

Amazon.com

- Address of the sender

I do not know the address of amazon.com. I just know my box of goodies was magically assembled in a warehouse by internet gnomes and the box has that arrow and lower case "a" on it.

- Type of mail (letter, large envelope, package, large package, or unknown)

I am assuming it should be a brown cardboard box approximately three feet long by one foot wide by one foot deep. I could be wrong about the particulars, but I'm pretty sure it is definitely a nice sized brown box. I would definitely recognize an amazon.com box, though, because it has that arrow and a lower case "a" on it. In fact, I'd say it probably looks like the box in the attachment. That's not my box, though. My box wouldn't have a harry potter sticker on it.

- Class of mail (Express Mail®, First Class Mail®, international, military, Periodicals, Priority Mail®, Bulk Mail, Parcel Post®, Media Mail®, or none)

I am also unsure of the class of mail. It is listed as Free Super Saving Shipping on Amazon.com. I suppose it would be US standard shipping.

- Services added (Certified Mail™, Registered Mail™, Return Receipt, Merchandise, Insured, C.O.D., Signature Confirmation™, or Delivery Confirmation™)

I do not believe any services were added.

- Location the mail item was sent from (sender's residence, other residence / business, Post Office™ ZIP Code™, Collection Box®, or unknown)

amazon.com. Again, I do not from where my box was sent.

- Time and date the mail item was sent

Well. According to my tracking number the USPS received my electronic shipping information on 12/12/2007. And then on 12/19/2007 my box was being sent to the Atlanta Recovery Center at 10:48 AM. That is all I know.

- Whether you would like to receive a call regarding this issue (There is no guarantee that further information can be provided via email.) No. I don't like people very much and phone calls with strangers about my missing box have grown disconcerting.

- If you suspect foul play:

I don't really suspect foul play. I mean, maybe I don't. I did mention that thing about the Anti-Holiday Fundamentalist Christian people, but that was really sort of a joke.

- Do you know who was involved?

I cannot really name the Fundamentalist Christians since I have no proof my box has become a victim of foul play.

- Do you know the name(s) of whom you suspect?

Not applicable.

- Was it a Postal employee?

No.

- Do you have a description?

The box is brown with Amazon.com markings.

Don't you guys want my address? It is supposed to go to me after all.
(Private so I don't incur stalkers.)

If I can be of assistance to you in the future, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Thank you, Josephine for your interest in my loss. Really, I do want the tinker toys. They were supposed to be one of those memory making moments for my family and it did not happen. That little part of my imagination and happiness is sort of in suspended animation. Sure, I could have gone right out and bought other tinker toys, but these amazon.com tinker toys were on mad clearance and I was so happy to get such a deal. I don't know what it would take to get my amazon box if the shipping sticker was all mangled, but I am perfectly happy if you want to open up some amazon boxes and look for my receipt. It will, of course, have my name and mailing address - the very things you need to bring me my package. Just don't steal my tinker toys. Or the hullabaloo game. It was on clearance, too.

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