A truly ridiculous sort of poem created when asked to describe my muse

My Antagonist Muse

Bleached blond gum cracker
Loud and obnoxious lip smacker
"Kiss my grits"
Good god. She's a transsexual Flo
Talking out of all sides of humankind
Telling me to write about underbellied life

Good Lord? God Almighty? Somebody?
Why send me this one?

She . . . He . . . ?
is all kinds of in my ear
nattering over the gum
about men and women and women and men
about war and peace and children and gin

Shut her up so I can hear what she is saying

just once.